"Zombie" Is My Name

In a masterstroke of sheer brilliance, I only slept four hours last night. I think. Maybe it was three and a half. I really can't be sure, to tell you the truth. All I know is that the last time I looked at the clock, it read 3:30am. Shortly thereafter, I fell asleep and got up again at 7:30am. This is what late-night sessions of Scrabble with friends will do to you, folks.

The first half of the day wasn't too bad. I was just a little sleepy. Now my eyes are semi-bloodshot, my brain feels like it's suspended in a jar of formaldehyde, and my reflexes are probably down in the 30-40% range. The worst part is that now it's late in the day. A nap is completely out of the question or else I risk destroying my sleep schedule tonight. So, I've got to power through until around 11pm when I can finally cave in and sleep.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking: "This guy is complaining about getting four hours sleep? Hah! What a lightweight." Well, I'm sorry, but sometime in the last couple years, I've started living on "old man" time. I need my 7-8 hours of sleep per night or else I get cranky and yell at the nursing home attendants.

Speaking of sleep, have you ever heard of Polyphasic Sleep? Supposedly, it's the act of foregoing solid nights of sleep for intermittent naps during the course of the day. Typically these naps take place for 20-30 minutes, about six times per day. The idea is that the brain adapts to the short naps and instead of taking the usual amount of time to cycle into REM sleep, it occurs within the span of the nap. The result is a highly refreshing power nap that keeps you going for a few hours until the next nap. Not convinced? Check out this guy's blog. He gave it a shot for 90+ days and lived to tell the tale!

It's okay. I'm not convinced either. Doing something like that has to be harmful to the body. Maybe the brain adapts pretty well, but what about the prolonged relaxation that's necessary for things like muscular healing? With your body going, going, going almost constantly, I have to imagine there are long-term physical ramifications. Honestly, if I could see some studies that provided solid evidence to the contrary, I'd love to try Polyphasic Sleep. Just think of the productivity once the body grows used to it. But, until then, I'm going to stick with my highly refreshing 7-8 hours of dreamy slumber.